


All Cops Are Bastards

by royalliest



Category: Persona 4, Persona 5, Persona Series
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Gen, Not Beta Read, Persona 5 Royal - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-20
Updated: 2019-08-20
Packaged: 2020-09-19 10:27:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,166
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20329624
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/royalliest/pseuds/royalliest
Summary: That cop in Shinjuku station is an extra huge piece of shit, Akira thinks. He’s too nice to be real, and even worse, Morgana likes him better than me.[P5 with adult P4 Protagonist social link.]





	All Cops Are Bastards

“Eat ass, smoke grass, sled fast?” the uniformed man with grey hair repeats, puzzled. “Don’t you mean eat grass, sled safe, cover ass?”

Akira gives him the dead faced stare of a man who has faced God and killed him.

The man insists, regardless of the human tombstone facing him, “Veggies are important. Safety is important. Doing stuff where we can’t catch you is important.”

“...Are we done here, Officer?” Akira asks. 

Ryuji hesitantly pipes up from behind him. “Are we in... trouble?”

He smiles indulgently. “I just got off duty. So no.”

Akira rolls his eyes, and turns around, gesturing for Ryuji to follow him. As soon as his back is turned to the officer, he hears the electric surge and whispering chains of a familiar feeling.

Oh no, Akira thinks. All cops are bastards.

—-

On his commute home from school a week later, Akira catches him standing in the station next to the gates. There is no way to pass through the fair gates outside of his range of view, so Akira does his best hermit crab impression through a greater hunch of his back and shuffles rapidly in the hopes he passes through the gates unnoticed, in the rush of students after school.

Morgana burrows his head out of the bag and growls, “Hey, isn’t it that guy who you said spooked you and Ryuji last week when you DITCHED me and went to - ?” Akira immediately plants his hand on Morgana’s face and shoves him back into the bag, zipping it up entirely despite muffled yowls.

Unfortunately, a hand lands on Akira’s shoulder as well.

“Up to more trouble again? ...Smuggling cats?” the officer smiles at him. 

Akira stops walking and shoots a blank face right back. “No sir, he’s my emotional support cat.” He unzips his bag just a little, under the pretense of giving his cat more air, so Morgana could hear their conversation.

“I see. What was last week, by the way? With the... escalator sledding?” 

“I don’t have any idea what you’re talking about.”

“You know, you remind me of my friends in high school. We tried that at the local Junes, and the stray cats would - “ he goes on, as Akira attempts to tune him out, slowly edging back into the subway crowd as the man continues to speak.

His bag wiggles, and Morgana claws a paw and the tip of his nose out of the bag to hiss, “Ooh, you’re gonna get it Akira, how dare you disrespect my fur that way! It takes hours to look this good and you messed up the part I can’t lick!” The claws come out and grip onto Akira’s fingers, which result in matching hisses from both parties, and Akira is so tired of this bitch ass cat telling him what to do, and the mind control levels of bed time enforcement, and the audacity of last night when Morgana slept on his face and he choked on some stray fur, and that it was weird and nasty to see cat asshole when said cat claims he’s human, and the subsequent argument of how Morgana was supposed to wear pants, that he stops shuffling and presents the still wiggling bag to the officer.

Akira has noticed the man eyeing Morgana the entire time, and offers, “Hey, do you want to pet my cat?”

Morgana has struggled half his body out of the bag and yowls, “NO, you piece of shit, my fur is a disaster and you’re letting this guy touch me? I’m excommunicating you from the Phantom Thieves, you, you betrayed! Me! I -“ 

The fingers burrowing into Morgana’s neck cut him off. He starts purring, “Ah, yeah... right there! Yes, purr-fect, a little further up, yes, hrhmmm...”

The man chuckles. “Thank you, I really love cats.” He continues to stroke Morgana, who has gone completely quiet except for his cat motor noises. “What’s his name?”

“Mr. Dipshit.”

The officer reaches into the bag further to access the cat’s back. Then begins an expert process that could only be described as dual wielding putty Morgana in his hands. He lifts him out and the cat nuzzles into the man’s arms, looking almost as content as the time Ann fed him sashimi after a successful palace raid. 

“Hm, Mr. Dipshit is more of a Mr. Happy right now, isn’t he? Aww, aren’t you cute... what a good boy...” the officer coos. Morgana, the bastard, continues to happy swish his tail. Akira considers this the real betrayal. All cops are bastards, and this one especially so. He suddenly doesn’t care that he wanted Morgana out of his life in the previous 17.38 seconds, because he was Mona, and a founder of their anti-establishment weave thieves team, and the man with the plan when Akira was too tired to give orders, and here he was defecting to some lawful neutral cop.

While the officer continues to nearly stroke Morgana into heaven, Akira takes the opportunity to study the man a bit more, in hopes of having Futaba do her tech thing with the police database and permanently schedule this man for a different shift time in another part of Shinjuku Station. All cops are bastards. This one looks extra washed out of color and absolutely in need of a location change far, far away from Akira.

White and black station uniform, crisply buttoned and tucked in shirt, Morgana’s black fur already sticking to the fabric, simple wristwatch, pale hands, young looking, objectively handsome, grey hair covering eyebrows, very tall, and the stitching on his pocket reading “Y. Narukami”. 

He breaks out of his study when the officer moves to place Morgana back into the unzipped schoolbag. Morgana mewls in protest, but then realizes the sheer embarrassment of the situation. He is blessedly silent, but the officer is not.

“Thank you very much for letting me pet Mr. Dipshit. I should be heading back to patrolling now, but it was a nice surprise to see you again.”

“His name is actually Morgana, Officer Narukami.”

“And yours?”

Akira thinks about his options for a split second. He can either give his real last name, a realistically fake one, or a completely stupid one - and he instinctively picks the dumbest possible reaction, to get a rise out of the officer.

Akira shrugs. “I’m Hotshit.” he quips.

“Nice to put a name to the face, Hotshit-kun, Morgana. Stay in school, kid!” Officer Narukami turns away and then strides toward an elderly man who had looked lost for the last minute outside the fare gates.

Akira hears the subway noises and clacking of the fare gates fade under the electric surge and whispering chains of the World arcana. He suddenly gains contact with one of his rarer personas, and understands he can change its strength and speed limitlessly now.

Shit, Akira thinks. He’s probably one of those “nothing wilts my erection faster than injustice” types. But his skill is powerful. I’ll have to talk to him more.

**Author's Note:**

> wiki says the World Arcana was planned to be a full confidant that was both reversible and allowed you to adjust stats of World personas in P5. Nice, that’s where P4kun comes in. I just want more adult friends for Akira in P5 that can’t flaunt the child/adult dynamic via dating.


End file.
